


Ascension Project

by grayangel19



Category: Evangelion, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Evangelion - Freeform, M/M, far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2029863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayangel19/pseuds/grayangel19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story set in the Evangelion Rebuild universe, in which Kaworu retrieved Shinji prior to the Unit 02 mission in 3.0. Shinji's condition at this time is slightly more than human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ascension Project Chapter 1: Tessaract

**Author's Note:**

> A fanfic where Shinji evolves into a FAR following his release from the orbiting tessaract by NERV. I have little to no experience in storytelling but it’s better than my childish attempts at drawing, so here we are. Contains blood, kawoshin, pianos, Evascience, and nothing that could result in mental scarring. I believe an appropriate description is “hella fluffy”. Enjoy.

Kaworu floated peacefully in the vacuum, content to slowly revolve in the emptiness of outer space. He breathed deeply, savoring the absence of any taint to the space around him. The Nemesis module beside him whirred and screamed to hurry, but Kaworu had no need to rush.

The Earth below gently swirled with clouds over the all consuming ocean of red. Following 3rd impact and his subsequent interruption in the Mark .06, the Earth’s waters were more tainted than ever by the material that was meant to become his race. But without the command of a Seed, the red would be staying in the oceans for as long as Earth existed. Turning his attention back to the present, Kaworu rotated his body to face the imposing might of the Tessaract.

A relic of legend as far as he was concerned, Kaworu placed his delicate fingers on the cold surface, and began to search. At first, it was dark. The material resisted his attempts to see within it’s confines, multiple layers of hex glyphs blocking his progress. Then finally, he found what he wanted.  
The massive humanoid monster was crucified inside the prison, screaming silently in it’s sub-Awakened state.

3rd impact had evolved the Unit 01 to a being rivaling the mythical FAR with it’s power. Guiding his vision through the Eva, he stopped to examine the human soul at its center, almost indistinguishable from the Evangelion’s own soul. It had a warm and gentle quality to it that made Kaworu long to see the boy it was so determined to protect. Into the entry plug he flew, examining it’s contents. Within, he found a warm and frightened little soul, glowing a flickering light blue. Wondering how the soul of this boy who had seemed happy to destroy the world could be afraid, the answer was found in seconds. His companion was dying. The fragile soul of Ayanami Rei had all but broken apart, lingering in the entry plug only by the will of the boy, and her love for him. We’re it not for that, she would have been lost long ago.

Smiling sadly, Kaworu fired a pulse of energy through his AT field, and into the Tessaract. Flowing softly into the plug, it rescued the last remnants of Ayanami Rei, tucking them away inside Kaworu’s engine until such a time as he could construct her a new form. Turning his attention to the Tessaract itself, Kaworu began melting the heavy armor with a powerful energy beam, not much different than the one used by Unit 01 to slay Zeruel. Splitting the construct open, Kaworu carefully removed the hibernating Evangelion and began to guide it towards the atmosphere. Sealing the Nemesis module inside the Tessaract shell, Kaworu rejoined Unit 01 in the growing embrace of gravity. As they accelerated towards NERV Headquarters, Kaworu couldn’t help but smile and whisper 3 simple words. “Welcome home Shinji-kun.”


	2. Ascension Project Chapter 2: Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji wakes up from the longest nap ever

Shinji awoke to the heavy feeling of a body covering his form.

The last thing he remembered clearly was his rescue of Rei from the body of the dead Angel. After that, he remembered darkness for a very long time, Rei’s soft voice speaking to him from the senseless void of sight, touch, or smell. 

She had stayed with him for a very long time, always there for him, until she began to fade. He hadn’t noticed it at first, longer periods of silence, sounding slightly strained when her voice came. As it became obvious, Shinji became utterly afraid. Not only for Rei, but for himself. How long could he last if Rei was not beside him? As the years passed and Shinji became truly terrified, Rei grew quieter and quieter, virtually going mute altogether. 

After 17 of what he estimated to be days of silence, he felt a new presence in the plug. A vibrant orange glow in the back of his mind, searching through the plug, observing him in a detached sort of way. He was about to reach out when Rei’s presence vanished, followed shortly by the intruder. Instantly furious with whomever had dared take Rei from him, Shinji had been about to activate the Eva when a shudder had passed through the systems. Utilizing the optical cameras, he watched as a grey haired boy, his own age even, guided the Unit into the atmosphere. Impervious to the heat or lack of oxygen, the boy had steered the Eva through their fall before the last thing Shinji recalled of crashing in the ocean. 

Focusing on the room around him, Shinji noted that the room appeared to be little different than his room at the NERV medical center. The only difference was an additional bed a few feet away, and parallel to his own. He was clothed in a soft set of clothes, designed for efficient heat retention, and Shinji quickly realized how shockingly cold the room was. He was about to stand and go to the door, when it opened and a figure swiftly walked in. The initial shock was so great, Shinji toppled off the bed. 

It was the boy who had freed the Eva from space. Shinji found himself floundering on the ground as the boy strode over. Attempting to speak practically ripped his throat out, and tears formed in his eyes as he tried to understand what was wrong. Without a word of request, the gray haired boy gently scooped him up and settled him back on the bed. Smirking a small amount, as if he had predicted such a reaction, the boy covered Shinji in the thick blankets of the bed, while leaving him sitting up while the boy spoke from the foot of the bed. 

"You’re muscles and vocal chords have atrophied from your stay in the plug among other things. We reconstructed your body from the LCL in the plug with your ethereal signature, and have placed Unit 01 under our control. You have nothing to fear while you live here." The boy smiled warmly, and stood up to leave. 

"w….wait…" Shinji whispered out, nearly choking on the effort. Regardless, the boy turned sharply and looked at Shinji expectantly. Nearly launching into another choking fit, Shinji managed to form 1 word. "…r.ei….." The boy smiled again, and looked at him similar to the way Rei had before. Although slightly unnerved, Shinji waited for an answer. 

"She’s here, and safe. I assure you we are doing our best to ensure the safety and health of both of you. Right now you both need food and rest, as recovery is not possible without them." The boy headed for the door but stopped in the frame. "… By the way, I’ll bring you some food in a little while, do you have any special requests?" Shinji shook his head no. "Alright. This is my room as well, and I am just fine if you need anything during the night. My name is Kaworu Nagisa. Welcome back to NERV, Ikari Shinji-kun." After the boy left, Shinji settled into the warmth of the bed, wondering how he could possibly sleep, when before he knew it, he was already asleep.


	3. Ascension Project Chapter 3: Schism

When Shinji awoke, he was immediately startled to find Kaworu staring at him from the other bed. Resting on his left side, facing Shinji, it appeared his supervisor had been looking at Shinji for quite some time.

Resting on a table beside him was a tray of colored goop that didn’t look at all like food, despite Kaworu’s insistence that it was. When he asked how long he’d slept, Shinji was shocked to learn that he had slept for 17 hours without a sound.

Rather than wake him when he returned, Kaworu said he had decided to wait for him to wake up. Confused as to why Kaworu didn’t have other things to do if they were indeed at NERV, Shinji discovered he could bring his voice to a whisper without pain, and control his arms and legs if he moved very slowly. Raising his voice as loud as he dared, Shinji whispered out another question. “..m.my…fa.ther…?” he breathed.

Kaworu took a moment to respond before speaking slowly. “After 3rd Impact, your father tried to free you. He invested years in attempting to retrieve you and Rei at the expense of anyone he worked with. Eventually, Major Katsuragi discovered the full scope of your father’s plan for NERV. She sealed Unit 01 in containment to prevent it from ever being activated again, and launched it into space. The pilots Asuka and Mari joined her in developing an organization currently dedicated to killing your father and the organization behind him. Mari serves them with obvious glee, but Asuka is different. During my sole encounter with her, I discovered that her mind, and to some extent her body, have been corrupted by the Angel that hijacked Unit 03. To what extent she is still in control I cannot say, but neither the Angel, nor her were content to fight NERV. I suspect she might be under threat of death due to her semi-Angelic status. We haven’t encountered any of their forces in weeks.”

Shinji paused, letting the scope of the change sink in. He was upset and angry. They had abandoned him? Ejected him into space, ignoring the plight he faced with Rei and him trapped in the plug?

Shinji began to cry. He hated to seem so weak in front of Kaworu, who he was developing a strong respect for, but couldn’t stop the tears. Noticing his sorrow, Kaworu stood and sat beside him on the bed.

Pausing only a moment, Kaworu gently placed his hand on Shinji’s cheek and wiped away the tears. Before Shinji could react, Kaworu stood and looked towards the door. He spoke with a tone of uncertainty, but an air of acceptance, as if he were accepting some inevitable choice. “I think… it is time to show you around our home again.”


	4. Ascension Project Chapter 4: Craters and Ruin

The craters in the floor was giving Shinji a hard time to say the least.

After pulling himself out of the bed and creeping to the hallway with Kaworu, he had promptly tripped into a 2 foot deep hole that was worn smooth into the floor. His weakened legs would have spilled his small form into the trench if not for Kaworu catching him.

Pulling himself back up, Shinji attempted to walk again only to slip again on the glassy edge of the hole. Catching him again, Kaworu swiftly swept Shinji’s legs from beneath him, carrying him as on would an infant or precious child. Cradling him close to keep warm outside the room, Kaworu walked them slowly through the halls of NERV.

The facility Shinji had called home had changed immensely, almost beyond recognition. Craters, bullet holes, and what appeared to be burn marks riddled the armored maze of hallways. Exiting the lower levels to the main cavern, Shinji gasped as the true scale of the damage became apparent.

Although this area had once been lower underground than the Geofront sphere, now Shinji could see the underground sky, and the ugly hole which the last Angel had burrowed into the Geofront. A massive rent had been ripped into the cavern around him, and an Evangelion sized arm lay with it’s fingers loose. Clad in green armor with streaks of deep blue along the forearm, the arm belonged to no Evangelion Shinji had ever seen. Passing by it, Kaworu was headed for the surface tram that lead up through the second sky to the outside of the Geofront.

Boarding the boxlike lift, Kaworu gently placed Shinji in his seat and smoothly allowed him to slide out. While Shinji examined the damage to the cavern through the window, Kaworu quickly activated the tram while he wasn’t looking, letting a spark of energy travel from his chest to power the tram. He didn’t want Shinji to know he was an Angel. Kaworu worried that he would hate him, reject him, and demand Kaworu leave him.

Of course, he had no intention of leaving the gentle boy anytime soon. Not out of duty or requirements, but a protective, longing urge that had been developing in Kaworu’s heart since he first heard Shinji’s name.

Sitting beside him as the lift rose, Kaworu felt drawn to touch him, as he had since the moment Shinji’s sleeping body had been brought from the plug. He wanted Shinji to know how much he cared about him, would always care about him, more than anything in the world. Reaching the top of the lift, Kaworu offered to take Shinji in his arms again, but the boy waved him away, determined to stand on his own.

Watching Shinji slowly walk to the final lock, Kaworu experienced a moment of dread. He knew what was on the other side of the door, and he feared that if Shinji saw the other side, he would break down. Reaching out a moment too late, Shinji hit the override on the lock, and with a obvious struggle, the doors grinded open. Around them lay the ruins of the Black Pyramid, split in quarters and partially melted from 3rd Impact and the attack preceding it.

An expanse of crimson wasteland stretched in all directions as far as they could see, and a massive nail of Angel core matter, floated above the red soaked plains. Shinji slowly sunk to his knees, clutching his chest, crying and groaning with sorrow. Kaworu bent down to comfort the grieving boy, hugging his shoulders gently, when Shinji began to scream. Shrieking in agony, Shinji was clawing at his shirt, and his tears were becoming polluted with red.

Desperate to ease his pain, as a mother is to her child, Kaworu tore Shinji’s shirt off to find the wound that hurt him so. It was not a wound that hurt him, nor the grief he felt over the devastation, but the glowing red light shining through his ribs, bright as when a flashlight is shown through your hand. The light was the size of a pea, but obviously caused Shinji excruciating pain, and Kaworu could feel waves of heat washing off him. Searching for the source of the light, Kaworu searched into Shinji’s chest. What he saw both terrified him, and made him swell with hope.

Exposure to the Angel particles in the air had triggered a unique and agonizing change in Shinji’s body. His time as the pilot of a Radiant Giant had started him on a path away from humanity.

Shinji Ikari, The 3rd Children, Catalyst of 3rd Impact, was developing an S2 Engine in his chest.


	5. Ascension Project Chapter 5: Choice

The pain was unfathomable for any being that had not experienced it first hand. Screaming and jerking like a broken puppet of a remorseless owner, Shinji wanted nothing but for the pain to end.

A deep tearing burn whittled away within his chest, eating away his body with an all consuming hunger. He cried and clawed at his chest trying to tear out what was causing this terrible pain, unable to ease his own agony. Only aware of the world in the most protected corner of his mind, Shinji noticed the sensation of being carried, far faster than any human should have been capable of. Curling tightly into the fetal position, he tightened his muscles and tried his best to cease his instinctive sobs. Settling down on a cool floor, he heard yelling that echoed through the room he was in.

"Please! Do something, you can’t just leave him like this!" A voice. Familiar. Comforting, like a warm spring day.

"We are powerless to stop what we have not prepared for. His condition was labeled with the intention that he should never see the Red Earth. I thought I made it clear to you he was never to breathe the air of the Geofront again under any circumstances." A different voice. Angry, harsh, and unforgiving, yet even more familiar than Kaworu’s, if slightly different. He could almost see a face to go with the second voice. Someone from a time before the Plug, and his awakening in the hospital. What could it be?

Shinji’s mind feebly considered this while the majority of his brain decided to scream louder than ever, coughing blood, and ripping beyond human capacity into an octave he would have recognized had he been in less pain.

"You can’t just do nothing! There must be a way to remove the taint, or stop the process! He doesn’t need to change! No human is more perfect than him!” Kaworu’s voice again. What did he mean? Taint? Process? Was this the source of the terrible fire in his chest, now grown to the size of a tennis ball?

"We have few other options! None of which will be what you desire! If we allow the process to continue unchecked he will become the 13th Messenger and lose his humanity entirely! You think I don’t fear for him? Seeing the child my Yui entrusted me to care for, in the greatest amount of pain endurable by mankind?! Either you teach him how to conquer the Voice of Adam, or we will be left with no choice but to use the Pillar Room to restrain him for eternity."

Yui? Mother? The second man knew his mother? Shinji grew silent for only a fraction of a second, but Kaworu clearly noticed it.

"He heard us. He understands what you plan to do to him!" Kaworu cried. "Only if you refuse to guide his Ascension. You have only minutes left before the Engine begins breaking his humanity and converting his LCL! If you’re going to do it then do it now!" He was so close to knowing the second voice now. A fresh pulse of pain rippled through his chest as the flaming tennis ball became a baseball of molten magma.

He sensed a person kneeling beside him, placing their hands gently on his chest and unbuttoning his shirt. The fabric peeled away, sticky with sweat and blood from the friction created by Shinji’s rapid breathing. Cool hands pressed themselves against his chest, subtlety easing the fire beneath. He heard a soft whisper that sounded like the screech he had made earlier himself. Then, speaking again in Japanese, he heard Kaworu whisper as he knelt down close to Shinji’s face, his breath smelling of cinnamon as he spoke. "Shinji-kun… I’m sorry." Kaworu spoke as he kissed Shinji gently on the lips.

Even in his pained state, Shinji attempted to struggle, finding movement to be virtually impossible. He couldn’t stay conscious any longer, and he became aware of a cold spreading down his throat and his chest. The fire was dying inside him, and as he fell asleep, Shinji was more grateful for Kaworu’s kiss than anything he had ever received before. Beneath his eyelids, the deep brown color that Kaworu had so loved began to turn a soft gentle red.


	6. Ascension Project Chapter 6: Shoulders of Giants I

Shinji was lost. He was not awake, nor was he dreaming. There was no pain, no senses, no fear. Merely a gray expanse of fog over his mind, thick and heavy, as if struggling to conceal some great secret from Shinji.

Struggling to pull his mind together, he recalled his kiss with Kaworu. Why had he done it? The obvious answer would be that Kaworu had evidently saved his life, but that couldn't be all. Shinji recalled how kind Kaworu had been to him in the past few days, watching him sleep, carrying him to the Wasteland, and caring for him while he redeveloped his muscles.

As he reviewed these thoughts, Shinji became aware of how much time, energy, and care Kaworu had invested in him over the past few days. He seemed to appreciate Shinji's company far more than anyone he had known before. Almost as if... Shinji froze. Could Kaworu..? Actually... ? Nervous and unsure, Shinji began to panic. He had never felt this before, a tightening in his chest, while a warm glow was starting in his chest. Kaworu was always caring for him, protecting him because, Shinji assumed, he had been ordered to. But what if it was more than that, what if Kaworu was guarding him for a far more personal reason? Shinji paused and began to genuinely consider the fact that Kaworu cared for him, not as a friend but clearly more than that. As Shinji thought, the fog swirled around him, condensing above his head.

Aware of a glimmer beneath him, Shinji stopped thinking and looked down to the surroundings below him. What he saw was enough to shock him to tears at the sheer beauty of its expanse.

Below him was a vast and crisp blue sea, rolling whitecaps, and moving sea life. A sandy coastline stretched for miles in either direction, followed immediately by a dense jungle. Massive aquatic leviathans drifted in the waves, great masses of tentacles, barnacles, teeth, and spikes. Roaming the jungle, immense dinosaurs toppled trees beneath their bulk, roaring deep into the vegetation, calling out to each other over great distances. As Shinji marveled at the simple beauty of this ecosystem, he realized that not only was he seeing creatures long extinct, but he was doing it from several hundred feet above the ground.

"We're not really here Shinji." Shinji flinched from the source of the sound, started to find Kaworu standing in what had previously been empty air.

"Kaworu! I..." Shinji paused. He didn't know what to ask first. Where were they? What had happened since the Geofront? Did Kaworu really... care for him? Smiling gently, Kaworu began to explain. "Shinji... right now, we're both inside your mind. When I brought you to the Geofront... something happened, something I didn't expect or else I never would have brought you there. ... When you came out of the plug, you were intensely contaminated by ANA that you had pulled into your plug during 3rd impact. This material made you something more than human, but the Angelic part was dormant inside you, until a few hours ago. The tainted air of the Geofront accelerated if not ignited, your body's Angelic progress, attempting to form you into a Messenger; a giant hive minded monster like the ones you're fighting against. Of course, I couldn't allow that to happen to you, but curing you was impossible. I had no choice but to elevate your genesis above Angelic, into a being before them. That's why we're here."

Shinji was puzzled. A creature from before the Angels arrived on earth? What could possibly have come before the Angels and their followers, humanity? Kaworu took a deep breath, and his eyes shimmered as he struggled to hold back tears, and began again, his gentle voice quivering slightly. "Long ago Shinji, in a place many thousands of years away in space, there lived a race of beings called the FAR. Possessing both advanced individual thought, and S2 engines, they were immortal and all powerful."

As Kaworu spoke, the scene changed. The fog shifted and swirled, forming a new and alien landscape. The world was covered in tall spires of rock, with twisting conduits of blue, orange, and white light threading between the crags. Immense creatures of all shapes and sizes drifted or crawled together through the bizarre cityscape. Ranging in height from smaller than a full grown human, to far larger than any Angel Shinji had ever fought. Their appearances were all unique as well.

Some were as simple as enhanced human forms, while others seemed to be unable to decide their form. Crystal goliaths floated through the air while insectoid giants creeped along the ground.

"A peaceful race, they had overcome conflict entirely and had no fear in the whole universe. A prestigious space faring species, they traveled the stars in great Moon Ships, carved of the magical grey rock of their home world. All was well until the arrival of the Calamity."

An immense cloud of dust descended over the planet, covering it in great mountains of ash and ruin. The giants and humans alike began to scream and wail in pain and anguish. "An alien virus that appeared to have been designed specifically to kill the FAR covered their planet in it's taint. It forced them to split their form and choose their mind, or their immortality. Those who surrendered their minds became powerful, but the Calamity absorbed their minds into itself to become a conscious being." Some of the giants dissolved, leaving only humans standing in pools of ANA, while others grew into goliaths and Messengers like Shinji remembered from Earth. All the while the Calamity grew in power.

"The remaining FAR devised a plan to save their race from the darkness of totally extinction. Building Ark-like Moons of their planet's core, they constructed the White and Black Moons. Choosing the most powerful of their divided race to pilot the Arks, they extracted the souls of all their brethren, sealing them in alternate dimensions linked to a Moon of their chosen form. The LCL and ANA was gathered and divided, and the Moons were prepared to seed the galaxy with life. To prevent their race from ever forming again and attracting the Calamity, they planned to strategically place the Moons so that Humans and Angels never met. Providing the pilots with their most powerful AT field tools available, and a set of instructions to prevent or begin the construction of future FAR. With all this dealt with the last FAR launched the Moons and allowed the Calamity to consume them."

Shinji watched as several of the giants worked tirelessly to harvest the material for the Moons and build the Geofronts within them. He saw as they sent all their hopes floating into space, before being attacked and killed by the furious Calamity hive. Then Shinji and Kaworu began to move. Shinji felt space moving around him. Looking over at Kaworu, he considered asking a question, but didn't know how without sounding stupid. Kaworu smiled, almost as if he could hear his thoughts. Then he did something completely unexpected. Swiftly wrapping his arm around Shinji's shoulders, Kaworu pulled him close, hugging Shinji tightly to his side. Shinji struggled rather feebly before dropping his arms and leaning into Kaworu's chest, closing his eyes as he did so. "Where are we going Kaworu?" Kaworu bent his neck and whispered softly

"We're going home Shinji."


	7. Ascension Project Chapter 7: Shoulders of Giants Part II

 Space moved around them in an instant, light bending so severely Shinji closed his eyes and pressed his face into Kaworu’s chest. A sickening lurch in his stomach made him wince and hug Kaworu all the tighter. As the motion stopped and Shinji opened his eyes at their surroundings he was amazed at what he saw. A blue sky stretched over them with puffy white clouds dotting the beautiful expanse, and a brilliant orange sunset reflected off the deep water of a nearby lake. In Shinji’s entire life he had never seen a place that looked so beautiful. Letting go of Kaworu, he slowly walked to the water’s edge and allowed the small waves to lap over his toes. Admiring the sunset from the border of water and land, Shinji was amazed at how peaceful it felt here, without the slightest hint of human presence. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Shinji turned around to find his friend standing a few feet back, trying to avoid intruding on his moment alone. A gentle smile on his face, Kaworu seemed content to stay there forever if it would make Shinji happy. Then Shinji looked over Kaworu’s shoulder and saw the rest of their surroundings. Stretching behind Kaworu higher than any building Shinji knew of, massive marble spires and towers decorated a wide expanse of the field behind Kaworu, a white replica of the FAR city they had watched fall only moments ago. The only difference Shinji could see was again, the absence of life, as if this place was waiting for someone to live here who might never come.

“Kaworu, where are we?” Shinji asked

“We’re on the moon Shinji, or rather, we’re inside of it.” Kaworu said, not seeming to notice how strange this sounded.

“Why are we here? I thought you said this was a way for me to see what things were like before humans came to Earth.” Shinji asked

“That’s precisely why we are here. To witness the rise of the creatures that came before the Lilim, and show you their true nature.”

Shinji thought about this for a bit and was about to ask Kaworu what he was referring to when he saw the monster standing behind his friend.

“KAWORU BEHIND YOU!” he screamed as the giant blue crystal hovered steadily towards them.

As if startled by his outburst, the massive jewel backed up several meters, and emitted a sound deep and low, that sent a sense of calm flowing through Shinji’s body, a sound that was different from any Shinji remembered from his previous battle with the entity.

Kaworu turned around and emitted a similar sound, only higher, sounding more like the notes of a human instrument than the unearthly call of the 5th Angel.

“You don’t have to worry Shinji, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“HE? The screaming diamond that nearly killed me a few months ago is a he?” Shinji thought Kaworu must have completely lost his mind. Did he not know how dangerous it was, the damage it had caused to Tokyo-3, Japan’s most advanced city ever to exist?

“ **The screaming diamond has a name, Lilim.** ”

Shinji stepped back, surprised that it (no, he) had understood what he had called it.

“Y-you can… talk, understand what I’m saying?” Shinji stammered, unsure how to address a creature that he had last seen dead from a laser blast that Shinji himself had fired.

“ **Why shouldn’t I? Not only is your language extremely primitive, but your current evolution allows me to understand you far easier by reading your thoughts. Quite splendid I might add. Very colorful and innocent. Like a sea slug.** ”

Who would have thought this flying rock could be sarcastic. Shinji regarded the Angel with a new interest, curious at what it had to offer him. “Did you just compare my thoughts to a sea slug?” he asked.

“ **Yes. I also mentioned you’re evolving into something greater than Adam himself, but sure we can focus on your sea slugginess for a little longer I suppose. Perhaps next we could talk about how much it hurt when you shot me. Twice.** ”

Shinji wasn’t whether to respond with anger or an apology. After a few moments of being flustered, he refocused his attention on Kaworu.

“You weren’t scared of him. Why weren’t you afraid he would hurt you?” Shinji asked.

“He has no reason to harm me. Ramiel has never harmed anyone who wasn’t already a threat. In your own battles, he didn’t harm anything outside a certain distance unless it attacked him first. He has no intention of harming either of us now.”

Kaworu stated this in a very matter-of-fact way, as if he had known this creature (Ramiel apparently) for much longer than a few minutes.

Asking what he considered a rather blunt question, Shinji spoke to the Angel directly this time.

“Why aren’t you dead? You said I…That I shot you-

“ **TWICE.** ” Ramiel reminded him

“Y-yes twice, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re here in my mind. Kaworu said this was just a dream.”

“ **He is correct, but that doesn’t mean this dream isn’t real, or that things won’t change during it. We are here to teach you. To show our little human what it means to be an Angel on the inside.** ”

Shinji frowned. The way he said that made it sound like he wasn’t the only Angel still alive, and that for whatever reason they had decided to do… something for him.

Before he could ask another question, he felt a change in the air pressure behind him. Shinji didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to see what he suspected what was behind him. Kaworu walked over, not a single sound from his steps, and gently coaxed Shinji into facing towards the beings behind him.

Whatever Shinji expected to find, he was surprised by finding something entirely different. 13 humanoid figures, each in a different style and color of armor stood before him, all only a few inches taller than himself.

One wore armor composed of interlocking bones, with a massive bird skull for a helmet.

Another had armor that seemed to be made of twisting strips of white stone that wrapped around the whole body, ending in a hood that had a wreath of the material around the forehead.

Still another’s was made of a blue sticky material that seemed to have a mind of it’s own, growing out from the main body to form spikes, blades, or armored plates.

Each of the figures was different from the last, only similar in that a red globe the size of a baseball rested in their chests, and Shinji could see none of their faces, obscured by helmets, headgear, and a variety of hoods. Although Shinji had never seen them before, nor had they spoken a word, he felt as though he had seen each one of them before meeting them now.

As one, the figures projected a powerful voice, filled with wisdom and authority, that echoed through the chamber.

“ **We are the Messengers, one and all, Servants of Adam till the end of days. Shinji Ikari of the Lillin, you have been chosen to surpass us, to become a being that has not existed fully in over five million years. You child, shall become the Progenitor for the next generation of FAR.** ”

Shinji was stunned. Not only were these warriors giving him a task with incalculable responsibility required, but they seemed to think that he was something more than human, as if he could be such a thing and not know it. But the more he considered his situation, the more he realized that they must be telling the truth. A cold feeling flowed down his back, pooling in his stomach. Shinji wanted to throw up, he wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor of the cavern, anything but hear what he was already thinking in his head.

Kaworu reached down and squeezed his hand, rubbing his thumb on the back of Shinji’s shaking hand. “What are they talking about Kaworu?” Shinji’s own words were incredibly quiet, and he wasn’t even sure Kaworu could have heard him at first.

“They’re talking about you Shinji, and how important you’ve become to them. Right now, you are on the brink of becoming the most powerful force on earth.” Kaworu smiled, gently massaging little circles into the back of Shinji’s hand

“When I took you into the Geofront, so soon after your battle with the Tenth Angel, your condition began to destabilize rapidly. I didn’t realize that the air outside the facility was effectively radioactive to humans, and that’s something I’ll never forgive myself for. To keep you alive, your body tapped into the remnants of power you carried from Third Impact, and began forming you an S2 Engine.”

Shinji’s eyes widened

“An S2 Engine? Y-you mean..” He gestured around the room, to the figures standing beside them, and the crimson globes in their chest.

“Yes, but you don’t need to be scared Shinji. It won’t hurt, and I think you’ll find that it has many advantages over being a simple human.”

“LIKE WHAT? Shinji shouted, causing Kaworu to stumble back, “WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE GOOD ABOUT HAVING THAT DEFORMITY IN MY CHEST?”

Kaworu’s expression became very sad, the beginnings of tears forming in his ruby eyes.

One of the figures stepped forward, placing a hand on Kaworu’s shoulder. It’s red hooded cloak had two large eyespots on the back, and 2 pink blades hung just inside the sleeves. When it spoke, the voice sounded female, and carried a gentle tone.

“ _I think it’s time you showed him Kaworu. He has a right to know, and it’s better he see what it’s really like, rather than the forms that the rest of us have taken._ ”

Kaworu nodded slowly and began working on the buttons of his shirt, while Shinji looked on in shock.

As the last button came undone and Kaworu threw off his shirt, Shinji braced himself to see a red orb protruding from his chest. What he saw was entirely different.

Kaworu’s chest was no different from any other human being, entirely whole, with only a faint red glow coming from within.

“Kaworu I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Shinji felt nothing but regret now. He’d hurt Kaworu on a very personal level, this person who had done nothing but care about him since they’d first met.

His friend wiped his eyes, and smiled just as before, as if nothing Shinji did could ever truly hurt him.

“It’s all right Shinji, you didn’t know. I was hoping you wouldn’t find out, I… I thought you would hate me for it.”

Shinji drew Kaworu into a hug, noticing that his friend was still shaking, despite the lack of tears.

“I could never hate you.”

As they released each other, the same figure turned now towards Shinji, speaking in the same gentle tone she had towards Kaworu

“It’s time to begin your training. We have much to teach you before you will be ready for a post-Impact world. We have learned skills concerning combat, survival, espionage, and the human mind, many of which will benefit you in your mission.”

“What do you mean, I don’t have any mission.” Shinji said

“ _The world is in a state of ruin and chaos. Your father is taking massive strides towards his own private goals, while another faction seeks to destroy him, along with the only things that may be able to fix the damage humanity has done. Neither can be trusted, and it’s up to you to restore the world to it’s former glory.”_

_“For now we must focus on preparing you for these tasks. You will spend time with several of us, learning the extent of your Angelic powers, and mastering abilities most humans can only dream of.”_

Shinji looked towards Kaworu, who took Shinji's hand in his own.

"Lets begin." The Angel cried as the whole scene vanished in a flash of light.


	8. Ascension Project Chapter 8: Fuckin Laser Beams

When the light faded from his vision, Shinji was standing in a large room, with a padded floor and metal walls that gave off a faint blue glow. When he looked up, he couldn’t see the ceiling or any sign of sky, only a black expanse that seemed to lead into empty space.

Kaworu remained at his side, still holding his hand and squeezing it reassuringly now and then.

Only one of the Angel’s avatars remained, an immense, brutish being, armored heavily from head to toe. Its arms were heavily muscled and the armor seemed to have been molded around them. He carried a shield placed in front of his chest, that stood almost as tall as himself, yet he carried it like it weighed almost nothing. Two heavy broadswords were strapped to its back, and the chestpiece of the armor flowed into the helmet to form a monstrous skull.

The figure made no move to invite Shinji forward, and seemed content to wait a thousand years for him to find the courage to step forward.

Shinji looked to Kaworu who simply smiled at him and nodded towards the figure.

A heavy sense of dread fell over Shinji, and it took all his willpower to release Kaworu’s hand with a final squeeze and take two steps towards the giant warrior.

“ **I’m glad you’ve found some bravery in that small form. You’re going to need it if you hope to survive my teachings.** ”

The voice carried no attempt at compassion or caring, and only expressed a small sense of approval in Shinji’s courage. It almost reminded Shinji of his father, a voice virtually devoid of emotion, and that was focused purely on the results it wanted.

“ **The most important ability that Angels possess is undoubtedly the AT Field, the ultimate shield against outside attack. Today I’m going to teach you how to use it, but it will be up to you to master the skill.** ”

Shinji swallowed hard and nodded. The figure’s voice was beginning to affect him, and a cold lump was forming in his gut. He wanted to hit the Angel, but he knew it would do absolutely nothing, and would more likely hurt Shinji himself.

“ **An AT Field is formed from the strength of your will, and sense of individuality. Without the latter of the two, you can’t form the field in the first place, but without the former it will shatter like glass. You must learn to focus your thoughts on why you need the Field. I need it to defeat my enemies and protect my body. What will you use your field for human?** ”

Shinji pondered this for a moment. Why would he need an AT Field? He didn’t want to die, but he couldn’t think of why else it would be useful. It was only his own selfish grip on life that might make him deploy one at all.

The Angel stood in silence while Shinji thought, giving no indication how seriously impatient it actually was.

As Shinji struggled to come up with another reason to focus on, two orange flashes of light appeared in the Angel’s helmet.

When he tried to move out of the way, the two beams hit him with the force of a freight train, hurling him into the back wall of the room.

Kaworu stared in shock, and began to move toward Shinji before the knight rushed forward and smacked him aside with his shield, sending Shinji’s friend flying towards the distant ceiling.

“ **Did you see it**?” the figure asked

Shinji groaned and struggled weakly onto his feet.

“ **I said did you see it?** ” the figure demanded again

“See what?” Shinji coughed

“ **Oh, so you didn’t see it?** ” his tone was almost surprised “ **Well let’s try that AGAIN!”**

Shinji yelled as the lasers returned again, and again, and still a third time, repeatedly pounding him into the wall. His head hurt, he could barely stand, and his ears were ringing, but that last time… he had seen it.

A pure blue shield of energy, only inches from the surface of his body, had deflected the deadly beams each time.

“Wait, I SEE IT. I SEE IT!” Shinji yelled

“ **Perfect!** ” The Angel roared “ **Now show me something stronger!** ”

The beating resumed, an endless barrage of beams that pounded Shinji until he could no longer stand, and then could no longer kneel. He lay there as the Angel fired on without remorse, each shot still being stopped by Shinji’s small blue shield.

“Why are you doing this?!” Shinji groaned “I can’t make anything stronger!”

“ **Don’t lie to me child.** ”

“I’m telling you, I can’t do it!” Shinji was angry, this sad excuse for a teacher seemed to have some kind of personal grudge against him, and was using the training to take it out on him.

“I don’t know what you’re expecting but I’ve never made an AT field before. I’m weak!”

“ **I HAVE SEEN IT!** ” the figure roared. The knight vanished, now replaced by a terrifying goliath. The 10th Angel, the one who had killed Ayanami, and nearly Shinji himself, was alive. Shinji fought the urge to run, to hide, anything to get away from this monster. He was done with letting himself be kicked around. He was going to see the Angel dead at his feet.

“ **You killed me with ease that time long ago. The field of the Eva is directly proportional to what the human pilot would be projecting if they could. Now you don’t require an Eva, because you are just as powerful on your own, as you were as a pilot back then. Fight back.”**

Anger. Fury. Hatred… None of these words could describe the pure wrath Shinji was feeling towards the Angel. A lifetime of loneliness and sorrow had come to the surface, and wanted nothing more than to kill the enemy that stood before him.

As Shinji took his first step towards his foe, a new sound touched his ears. A cry of rage perhaps equal to his own, and that seemed to be coming from far above.

When Shinji looked towards the distant sky, he saw a shining orange light, a great fireball headed straight for the 10th Angel. Within this mass of blazing energy, Kaworu was hurtling back down at tremendous speed, pushing himself downwards off of his own AT Field. The impact sent shockwaves rippling outward as Kaworu tore through the 10th Angel’s field, slamming it against the wall before jumping directly between them, his own AT Field sealing the 10th Angel away from Shinji.

“Shinji! Are you alright?” Kaworu rushed over, gripping Shinji in a tight hug.

“I’m okay Kaworu. Just a few bruises.” Shinji breathed

Kaworu turned towards the Angel, who had managed to extract itself from the crater in the wall, and was now staring at the two of them.

“You went to far. He’s not ready for this kind of pressure yet.”

“ **There is no other option if you want him to be ready for the world outside.”**

“You have to be gentler about this, he’s just a child.”

“ **A child with the largest responsibility in the universe, and you are not one to talk, an Angel who never even attempted to revive our kind from the frozen north!** ”

Kaworu was visibly hurt by this, and it enraged Shinji even further. To take out it’s anger on Shinji was at least reasonable but hurting Kaworu was going too far.

Blue light began to gather in Shinji’s clenched fists, dripping to the floor in brilliant cobalt tears.

“ _Stand aside Kaworu._ ” Shinji’s voice sounded different, like more than one person was talking as he spoke.

“Shinji I can’t let him hurt you.”

“ _You should be more concerned about me hurting him._ ”

Kaworu’s eyes widened and although Shinji couldn’t see it, his eyes had turned crimson, and a bright glow was coming from within his chest. Had he removed his shirt, he would have seen half of a small red globe a bit bigger than a baseball.

Nodding slowly, Kaworu moved aside and brought down his AT field. Instantly the 10th Angel moved to hurt him, his blades flying towards Kaworu, aiming to cut him in two. They never came close.

Shinji’s AT field appeared in front of Kaworu right on time, causing the 10th Angel’s blades to shatter on contact. As the Angel reeled back, screaming in pain, Shinji roared, leaping towards its S2 Engine and hitting it with a punch that could’ve split a mountain.

Even as the Angel fell Shinji continued to attack, ripping into the Angel’s body, burning great craters in its form with his blue fire. He ravaged the creature’s body, creating wounds larger than Shinji himself, blue runoff mixing with the Angel’s blood.

After what seemed like an eternity, Shinji stood up, the light fading from his hands, and his eyes returned to normal. The only trace of power that remained were the blue tears running down his face.

Looking at the Angel as it lay in agony, not even trying to move, Shinji felt terrible about what he’d done, and had a distinct urge to throw up if such a thing was possible here. Kaworu was right by his side, holding him as Shinji sobbed into his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry Kaworu, I… I didn’t mean to. I was just so angry, and I thought he was going to hurt you, and…” Shinji’s voice trailed off as his tears overwhelmed him, taking a moment to try and calm down before he spoke again.

“It’s alright Shinji. You’re safe now, we’re both safe.” Kaworu gently stroked Shinji’s back as he spoke, and it seemed to help him calm down.

“It’s not alright. He’s dead, and I killed him. I murdered him with my own hands!” Shinji’s throat hurt and he was finding it difficult to breathe. He was trying to focus on slowing his breathing down when he noticed Kaworu was laughing.

Turning around to see what Kaworu could find so funny, Shinji was surprised to find the knight standing where the Angel’s corpse had been. One of his swords was shattered, while he leaned on the other like a crutch. His chestpiece had been ripped open, his shield was gone, and most of his helmet had been crushed, yet he stood tall as if nothing in the world could truly bring him down.

Although Shinji couldn’t see his face, he had the distinct feeling that the figure was smiling at him. The knight stabbed his remaining sword into the ground, and sank to one knee with a heavy crash. Although a human would have been rendered mute by the damage he had taken, the figure’s voice was clear as always, and carried an obvious note of pride.

“ **Well done.** ”

The body of the knight fell to the floor, breaking into ashes as it hit, which were then sucked towards the darkness far above.

Shinji turned towards Kaworu, who smiled back at him for a moment before asking,

“Did you find out why you need to use your AT Field?”

Taking both of Kaworu’s hands in his, Shinji leaned towards Kaworu’s ear and whispered,

“So I can keep you safe forever.”

 

In the next few days, Shinji learned many skills from the various other Angels. Laser beams from the 5th Angel, clad in crystalline blue armor that constantly shifted its form. Telepathy from an Angel with a pair of shining wings on it’s back. Computer access from an Angel that seemed to be a ghost made of light, covered in nodes and circuit patterns, a lesson that Shinji had barely passed. After learning all these skills and several more, Shinji still felt that his first lesson had been the most important to him.

Now, on the Thirteenth day of dreaming, all of Shinji’s lessons were complete, and he was spending his last few moments back in the main chamber with Kaworu. They had been swimming earlier that day, and both were ready for a break. They lay together on the sand, watching the stars overhead before Shinji would wake up.

Shinji was enjoying this time with Kaworu, and he silently wished that this would never end. But something was troubling him, and he couldn’t think of a better time to mention it to Kaworu. Turning on his side towards Kaworu, he gently poked his friend, who opened his eyes and smiled at Shinji.

“What is it?” Kaworu asked “Is something wrong Shinji?”

Shinji was nervous about what he had to ask, but he swallowed hard, his voice shaking with anxiety.

“Kaworu? When I wake up again… will you… will you still be with me?”

His friend smiled and nodded as if he could not be more sure of it.

“Of course Shinji, I’ll always be with you. Even if you feel alone I’ll do everything I can to make it better.”

Kaworu’s words made Shinji feel warm inside, and he lay down again, snuggling into Kaworu’s chest.

Shinji stayed like this for a long time, eyes closed, comfortable with staying here as long as possible. He lost track of time entirely until Kaworu leaned over and kissed him.

His eyes snapped open to find Kaworu looking completely innocent, and Shinji couldn’t help but smile at how odd Kaworu was. He was about to return the favor, when Kaworu spoke two words that Shinji had been dreading for a while now.

“It’s time.”

The moment Kaworu spoke Shinji went blind. He tried to scream but found he couldn’t do that either. He was floating in darkness, unable to make a sound, unable to find Kaworu. Shinji began to cry.

After a very long time, Shinji spotted a light ahead, gray in color, like the fog at the beginning of his dream.

Entering the light, he turned back to be sure there was no other way. As he was pulled into the portal, he saw all the Angels standing in the darkness, weapons raised high. Just before his head entered the gray light, he heard one word, spoken by the Angels as one.

“ **HERO.** ”

As Shinji passed through the light completely, he felt better than he had in a long time. He had a purpose, a task to complete. Nothing had been kept from him, and he knew what to do. As he felt himself coming closer to consciousness, Shinji Ikari was confident that everything would turn out fine.


	9. Chapter 9: CONTACT!

Kaworu opened his eyes slowly, allowing light to slip in through the growing part of his lids. The soft rays of white light spilled into his vision as he looked around the room. He was facing the wall of a room, the seams of the metal clearly visible at his range, the familiar white paint that coated just about every private room in NERV giving nothing away about where exactly he was.

Kaworu moved to sit up and felt his back brush against something. He froze for a moment, sensing the heat coming from the object, and the subtle vibrations it made.

Turning his head, careful not to jostle whoever was in his bed, he was surprised to find Shinji lying right next to him. Shinji’s black hair was all that was visible over the covers, the rest of him swaddled in thick blankets which bulged subtly with each movement he made, still deep in his sleep.

Content that Shinji was safe beside him, Kaworu pulled the top blanket around the two of them, planning to stay there until Shinji woke up when the doors to the room opened and Commander Ikari entered, followed by the last of his soldiers, the SEELE fanatics and mercenaries who hadn’t defected to the newly formed WILLE.

Several guns were pointed at Kaworu, and the hum from the battery packs the soldiers carried suggested they were probably loaded with progressive bullets. The soldiers surrounded the bed, shoving it across the floor to the middle of the room to better surround him.

Kaworu made no movement during this period, as there was very little such weapons could do to him. Gendo Ikari remained near the door, a small circlet in his hand etched with ever-shifting Angel glyphs.

One of the soldiers turned towards the Commander. “What should we do with him sir? He should be fairly weak right now.”

Weak? These fools didn’t understand the scope of his power. Those guns would be useless against his AT field, and he was not hindered in the slightest by his recent experience.

But Gendo Ikari didn’t reply. Instead, he strode forward through the soldiers to stand beside Shinji’s bundled form. When he spoke, he was looking at neither Kaworu nor Shinji, and seemed to be looking at a space between them.

“You looked so much like your mother. All I have ever done is for her, not for myself, and certainly not for you.”

Kaworu choked at the sheer antipathy in those words, shocked that a father could have so little kindness to show his son.

“Everything I did to you was to try and bring her back, and I’m sorry you got hurt in the process, but such is the way of the world. If I worried about your safety over saving Yui then I would achieve nothing. You were my tool, a device I could use to help bring Yui back, and now you are nothing but a monster, ascended by your own selfishness.”

Gendo kept his face neutral through all this, but could not disguise the contempt in his voice.

Such a man must be burned away from this land, Kaworu thought. He cannot appreciate the greatest gift he possessed as a Child of Lillith.

His hand twitched subtly as he fought to control the ravenous anger within himself.

Gendo’s hand moved the ring towards Shinji and Kaworu lunged forward, grabbing the Commander’s hand and putting up his AT field around the bed as strong as he could make it. Even the Lance of Longinus would be slowed by such a dense field of power.

Kaworu himself was fairly impressed with himself for moving so quickly, and noticed Gendo looking up as if noticing him for the first time.

“Do not interfere abomination, this is a private matter.”

“Then you should have thought of that before you put us in the same room.”

Gendo sneered, his usually impassive expression replaced by one of utter hatred.

“You don’t think I tried? We moved you apart as soon as you passed out doing your horrid work on my son, put him in his room, and you in the deepest and strongest prison we have! Less than a minute later the both of you teleported back here and we haven’t been able to move you for the past 17 days!”

Kaworu was impressed by the abilities this man was suggesting not only himself, but Shinji possessed. Teleporting required being able temporarily invert your S2 engine, pulling the user into a realm of Antimatter, before popping them back out at the destination of their choosing. He hadn’t even thought himself capable of it, and it was extremely dangerous to attempt with a biological being. The only time it had been used was for extremely long distance travel for the White and Black Moons.

Now it was Kaworu’s turn to keep his face impassive, secretly taking great joy in having impaired the efforts of this monster.

“Now you’re awake, and my son is gone from my control!” Gendo growled

“He is not your puppet to command Lillin.’ said Kaworu, now equally furious. “He’s a living human who deserves your compassion and respect!

“NOT IF HE’S NOT HUMAN ANYMORE!” Gendo shouted, twisting his hand free, ripping the blankets from Shinji’s body and tossing them aside. Kaworu jerked back, stunned at the sudden movement.

Shinji curled into a ball at the removal of the blankets, shivering hard enough to vibrate the bed, and let out a small whine of protest. He was as pale as the paint on the walls, and had been stripped to his underwear. Still in the process of physical evolution, a bright red glow came from behind his tightly shut eyelids and the hollow of his chest.

The look of disgust on Gendo’s face was obvious, as he turned away and moved again to place the circlet on Shinji’s head. Again Kaworu moved to stop him, and easily would have if his world hadn’t exploded.

The soldiers guns had devastating effects, multiple bullets tearing into Kaworu with little resistance from his AT field, ripping large holes in his stomach and throwing him from the bed in a spray of orange.

Shocked at the impressive damage to his body, all Kaworu could do was watch as Gendo put the circle around Shinji’s forhead, locking it in place with a soft click. Multiple glyphs glowed red on the circle and holograms began dancing around Shinji’s head. “Perhaps this will stop your heresy.” Gendo whispered.

Hardly had he spoken these words when Shinji woke up, his eyes blazing red but not seeing what was around him. He rose from the bed, turning to face the man who had caused him a lifetime of pain.

_What is this you have shackled me with?_

To Commander Ikari’s credit, he could hold his composure against a furious proto-FAR with a lifetime of reasons to vaporize him, and replied without a moment lost.

“It’s to contain your powers, to keep them from overwhelming you.”

_There is no such danger you foul human, I am in control._

“Yet you are not the voice of my son. You are a monster of Adam that is sharing his form.”

Shinji’s face contorted in anger, and an AT pulse forced the Commander and his soldiers flat against the wall, pressing Kaworu against floor and bringing him to the point of tears as his wound was pressed by the strong gravity.

_You are correct in your assessment of me, but I’m not going to leave, nor am I the only one. 16 minds of old hide in this form, awaiting the command of this child to come out. We know what you have done to him, and if you touch him again, we will tear you apart at an atomic level over the course of 16 days inflicting 13 years of emotional and mental suffering on you until you are less than dust in this world._

Kaworu was impressed by the threat that this other mind had come up with it, and clearly so was the Commander because he exited the room without another word, his soldiers following meekly behind him.

As the door shut, the impressive gravity ceased and Kaworu began to adjust his position when Shinji floated over to him.

_You have sustained impressive damage Tabris. Do you require assistance with biological repairs?_

“No one talks that way but Iruel.” Kaworu thought. Biological Angel or not he still thinks like a machine.

“Yes I need help. Unfortunately for me I can’t heal any more than a human can, which is why my AT field is so strong. A serious problem when it comes to dealing with the new equipment the humans are developing these days.”

Without a word, Shinji’s body waved his hand and Kaworu’s torso flowed back together like water, pieces lying on the floor floating over to him, solidifying on the outside to look human to any test they could conceive.

_You should now be in suitable condition to continue caring for this form when I leave in a moment._

“Thank you. I appreciate your help. Shouldn’t you remove the crown while you’re active though?” Kaworu said.

_It could prove useful for the little one to keep us asleep. It’s like a fence to keep us penned in, hidden from his senses, but if he needs us this will not hinder the shift in control. It’s better to have it as a fail-safe if nothing else._

Kaworu didn’t like that idea, but he could hardly say so to something that had just pulled his body back together with a thought. It wasn’t hard to imagine Iruel doing the reverse just because he could.

_One more thing, when he wakes up he’s going to need a jump start._

“Excuse me?” Kaworu said

_First thing he’s going to want when he gets up, more than anything else, is to bond with another Angel, who will then provide the first spark for his S2 Engine. The only option on this planet is you._

“What do you mean bond? Like your bond with Adam? That made you fight until you died trying to find him?” Kaworu yelled

_No you fool. Nothing that strong. In a human body such a sense of connection is diluted. To use human terms he will effectively be in love with you._

Kaworu had no words to express how he felt at that. He knew that Shinji already had feelings for him, but wasn’t sure if they counted as what humans called love. To do something that was effectively forcing Shinji to love him seemed wrong, a breach of Shinji’s trust.

“I can’t do that to him. He deserves an explanation.”

_You will be unable to provide it no matter what. It’s not an option Tabris. Do not fail us, or he will leave this planet in pursuit of Angels and there is a high probability that he will die in space. Do what you must._

At these last words Shinji’s eyes closed and he settled to the floor, sleeping again.

Kaworu quickly scooped up Shinji’s sleeping form placing him in the bed and holding him close to keep his shivering form warm, bundling the both of them in blankets. He would start explaining to Shinji the moment he woke up, before anything else.

Only moments after, Shinji began to stir, trying to turn around to face him, but Kaworu had locked his arms to hold Shinji facing away from him, to prevent their engines from touching by accident.

“Kaworu?” Shinji whimpered a slight tone of fear trickling into his voice.

“Shhh. It’s alright. I’m right here beside you Shinji.” Kaworu whispered gently nuzzling into Shinji’s shoulder as he did so.

“Kaworu, can I turn around?” Shinji asked

“Actually there’s something I need to explain to you first.”

“Let me turn around Kaworu.” Shinji’s voice seemed to have instantly grown very sad and it broke Kaworu’s heart to hear it but he couldn’t let Shinji do so without an explanation of what was really happening.

“I can’t let you do that Shinji I need to tell you somethi-“ “You really must hate me.”

Kaworu’s heart had completely shattered at those last few words. He wanted to pull Shinji closer, to never let go of him, and tell him how he truly felt but if he did then Shinji would rush into this without any idea what was really going on.

“I don’t hate you Shinji. You mean more to me than you know.”

Kaworu knew that releasing Shinji would condemn him to a bond he hadn’t agreed to and make him love Kaworu without hearing his true feelings.

“I know exactly how much I mean to you.” Kaworu braced himself for the hateful, heart-wrenching words that were sure to come next.

“I love you too.”

Kaworu’s arms loosened for a moment giving Shinji the opportunity to throw them apart and turn around in the bed so he was facing Kaworu. Tears welled in his eyes and his expression was torn between happiness and the instinctual longing that gripped him.

Kaworu pulled his arms in, desperate to maintain some measure of space between them until he explained, watching in horror as Shinji’s S2 engine rose to the surface of his chest, and his own rose in response, now only inches apart.

“You’re just saying that because you’re not feeling well Shinji.”

Shinji smiled and laid a hand on Kaworu’s face, running his thumb on Kaworu’s cheek, unaware of the glowing red orbs that now hung so close that Kaworu could not have fit his hand in the gap.

“I’m happier than I’ve ever been Kaworu, because you’re here. I don’t care what’s going on, I just want to be with you. If you love me you’ll allow me that.”

Tears of sadness had begun to flow freely from Shinji’s eyes, and Kaworu’s last core of resistance dissolved. His only task was to make Shinji happy, and it was clear that holding them apart was not achieving this. Even if his intentions were good, Kaworu knew that he was only causing Shinji sorrow. Kaworu slowly allowed the engines to touch, before wrapping Shinji in a hug as a warm light pulsed through them both.

The engines sank back into their chests, and Kaworu pressed Shinji closed with each inch they gave, until their chests touched without interference. Shinji had grown warm again, but had apparently been knocked out by the power surge and was dozing sweetly in his arms. Brushing his hair back, Kaworu planted a kiss on Shinji’s forehead and closed his own eyes to wait for Shinji to awaken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so terribly sorry this took so long, I totally left you hanging and for that you have my deepest apologies. Hope you liked it.


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